


Harry Potter and the Fabulous Five

by bblgumbby, gigglewatergal (bblgumbby)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Queer Eye (Netflix) - Fandom
Genre: Desi Harry Potter, F/F, F/M, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter goes on Queer Eye, Hogwarts class reunion, M/M, Multi, Post-Hogwarts, karamo has his work cut out for him, the man needs help i mean seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-10-08 23:08:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17395463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bblgumbby/pseuds/bblgumbby, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bblgumbby/pseuds/gigglewatergal
Summary: The HP Queer Eye crossover you never knew you needed!After a genius idea on Ron's part, the Queer Eye men are called in on their most challenging transformation yet: war hero recluse Harry Potter.Follow the hijinks and healing that comes with meddling of 5 gay wizards.Set in May 2019, everything has been moved up 10 years. (Marauders born in 1970, Harry born in 1990, BoH was May of 2008. References to an 8th year in 2009.)





	1. VOTE VOTE VOTE!!

Hello, darling Harry Potter and Queer Eye fans! 

I had this idea last night at 3am and only wrote down the title and tag line before I fell asleep.

There are SO many ways I could do this, but I've narrowed it down to 3 choices for you all to vote on!

SO HERE WE GO!!

Option Number 1:  
-Completely muggle/no-maj au, no magic  
-Harry J Potter is a graduate of Hogwarts, a boarding school in Scotland  
-he's still an orphan, and had to suffer many years of the Dursleys before Sirius and Remus came to get him (sirius was wrongly jailed for murder)  
-he's got ptsd, amongst other things, and has kind of become a recluse in the past few years, but wants to look/feel/live good for the reunion  
-the Fab 5 are also no-majs and work their wonders with him  
-also he's bi as hell

Option Number 2:  
-most true-to-canon option  
-Harry is the same person he is, magical savior, BWL, ya know, but he can't tell the Fab 5 cos they're no-majs  
-this makes explaining a few things kinda difficult, but it also leads to some funny bits of Harry trying to cover up the magic in his life from 5 well-meaning gay guys  
-also they don't treat him like a celebrity? cos they don't know the stuff he's done? and he likes how normal they're treating him?  
-also he's bi as hell

Option Number 3:  
-Harry Potter is as magical as he normally is.... but the Fab 5 are also wizards! :0 the only one who has an idea of who Harry is is Tan (British Desi Wizard Bros)  
-magical hijinks while the guys are helping him! Karamo definitely has his work cut out for him boi, they're dealing with a reclusive abused war orphan turned hero.  
-Antoni getting on really well with Molly? "Why are you so skinny holy sh*t?" Bobby looking at Grimmauld Place like omg the House elf heads?? are not decor??  
-Jonathan making Harry's hair and beard grow out super long at first "You sure? You don't wanna try rocking the Dumbledore look hunny?"  
-Tan taking him shopping and getting him into something Draco might like and he and Harry have this moment of "o shit do you want to impress someone SPECIFIC" at this reunion?? let's get you a fitted suit??"  
-also he's bi as hell

 

Regardless of which option you vote for, it will be Ginny and Ron (and also kinda Hermione) who nominate him for the Fab 5  
AND of course the end-game pairing will be Draco and Harry, don't worry folks.

So please think it over and vote in the comments below!  
Cheers!


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron is brilliant...  
> A scheme is hatched...  
> A letter is received...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My darling readers! Thank you for voting on which option you liked the best.  
> We will be going with option 3, as that seemed to be the fan favorite.
> 
> However… I might also be taking this fic, once its completed, and reworking it to fit options 1 and 2. (Keep in mind, the plot and ending would not change… it would mostly be specific scenes and various details, and obviously would involve less magic.)
> 
> I am so excited for this fic! I hope you are too! That being said, please continue to send me your thoughts and support in the comments. I will be trying my hardest to keep all HP characters and Queer Eye gentlemen as true to themselves as I possibly can.  
> On to the content!! 
> 
>  
> 
> Everything is the same except moved up 10 years from canon. The Marauders were born in 1970, and Harry was born in 1990, which puts him at 28 years old, as this fic takes place in May of 2019.

 

It was Ginny and Ron's doing, really.

 

Netflix was a glorious muggle invention and the Weasleys had absolutely become obsessed when Hermione had off-handedly introduced it to them. Molly was a huge fan of competitive cooking shows, whereas Arthur was very much fond of the American version of The Office. Percy was a closet Sherlock fan while publicly binging The Crown and Reign. Bill and Fleur didn't watch much, but they did appreciate the foreign film section occasionally. George liked to have Friends on in the background while he worked on things for the shop, and it was all over once Charlie discovered the How to Train Your Dragon films.

 

But Ron and Ginny? They shared a favorite that seemed unusual for the pair of them and their normal tastes.  There was a certain show that had them both hooked, a reboot of a similar show from when they were children… but this new version was so much better.

 

Queer Eye because the youngest two Weasley’s absolutely shameless pleasure. Multiple episodes had had the pair of them in tears on the Burrow’s couch. Every man (and the lovely lady Miss Tammye) had deserved all the Fab Five had given them and more— confidence, healing, organization, and the tools to take care of themselves.

 

They had just finished the “Make Ted Great Again” episode and, amongst the anguish of running out of new episodes, Ronald Billius Weasley had a genius idea. He’d turned to his younger sister, who had gotten up and taken the empty popcorn bowl with her.

 

“Gin?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“...how hard do you think it would be to nominate someone for this?” He gestured towards the television, which was now just playing the Queer Eye trailer. She raised an eyebrow and set the bowl in the sink, leaning against the counter.

 

“I don’t know if they’d consider a bloke from the UK… they’re in Georgia, yeah? I guess we’d just send in a letter… or a sort of audition video over email… Do you want to be made-over, Ron?” she teased with a smirk.

 

Ron frowned slightly and shook his head. “No, not me. Harry.”

 

That sobered Ginny up pretty quickly. Shit… Harry could absolutely use the help these men would provide… Things had been hard on him the past few years and it didn’t take a genius to know that their friend— their brother— needed to get out of his rut. Needed some tough love. Needed some genuine, kind-hearted meddling from 5 gay men.

 

“Ron… you’re so bloody clever.”

 

“Well, it’s been known to happen.”

 

***

  


As was the case with most things, the grand plan to nominate Harry for Queer Eye had gotten easier once Ron’s lovely wife got involved. Being a relatively high-ranking Ministry official made her investigation easier when paired with her natural determination and desire to help her friends. Only a month after Ron’s brilliant idea, Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley sat her husband and sister-in-law down at her kitchen table, laptop open, parchments spread, and hair frizzy in excitement.

 

“They’re wizards, the lot of them.”

 

“Scuse me?” Hermione shook her head and produced a handful of MACUSA document copies for the redheads to peruse. Ilvermorny graduation confirmations… hair potion patents… a St. Augustinia’s mind healer license… a Hogwarts graduation certificate.

 

“Tan France went to Hogwarts?!” Ron screeched, his hands going to his hair.

 

“Let me see-- He was a Slytherin! Merlin, Ron, he graduated the year before you all started! Merlin— He’s the same year as Charlie!” Ginny was absolutely gobsmacked. Ron made eye contact with his wife.

 

“So… what does this mean? For nominating Harry?”

 

“It means, husband mine, that Harry won't have to hide or lie about anything. He can admit to his war trauma without them asking ‘what war?’ and they'll be able to see and enter Grimmauld Place and we wouldn't have to hide Teddy's abilities around them.” She smirks as the two Weasleys nod along, understanding how fortuitous the situation is.

 

“Now… how do we get Harry to agree?” Ginny and Ron share a semi-guilty look.

 

“Well, see, we kinda weren't going to tell him until after they'd accepted and gotten over here. Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, yeah?”

 

And as much as Hermione hated to agree… she didn't know if Harry would accept the help unless it was forced on him.

 

“Right, I can see your point. So how should we start this owl?”

 

“Not going by normal email submission then?” Ron scooched his chair a bit closer to his wife's, peeking over her shoulder and bushy hair to study the bullet-pointed parchment.

 

“We have to explicitly say that they'd be making over a fellow wizard, and therefore the episode wouldn't be going on muggle television.”

 

That was another issue… all three of them were certain that Harry would be uncomfortable with so many cameras around… so they'd have to come to a compromise with the producers about it… if it would be shown to anyone, afterwards, as well.

  


And so, the three of them drafted Harry Potter's Queer Eye submission plea, without the man's knowledge.

  


~○~

  


It wasn't every day that an international letter came for Karamo Brown via an official MACUSA owl. It was a weighty thing, with a thick envelope made to survive international travel, and sealed with the dark plum wax of the British Ministry for Magic.

 

Clearly, this was important.

 

Interest piqued, he carefully broke the seal and then opened the smaller envelope inside, revealing a handwritten letter, not the usual Ministry memo.

 

_Dear Messr. Brown, as well as Messrs. Van Ness, Berk, France, and Porowski,_

 

_I hope this letter finds you well, first of all._

 

_Please allow me to introduce myself and explain. My name is Ron Weasley and I am a retired auror. My sister is Ginny Weasley, a professional Quidditch player. We are both huge fans of you and your Netflix show Queer Eye. We think it's bloody brilliant._

 

_We know you're focused in Georgia in America for the show, but we were hoping you might consider coming to England. You see, we (myself, my sister, and my wife Hermione) would like to nominate our best friend and brother, Harry Potter, for your help in getting his life back. (Harry does not know we have sent this letter… We're certain he would've insisted that someone else needs your help more than him.)_

 

_Harry has always had to deal with being what my wife calls a ‘high profile public figure’, meaning that he's famous and he hates it. Over the past decade he's practically become a hermit. He is a war orphan, grew up in an abusive house, and fought in the war over 10 years ago. He's lost a lot of people and we don't think he's ever fully dealt with it…_

 

_He's a single father to his adopted godson Teddy, who will turn 11 in April. Harry takes care of everyone, but doesn't take care of himself much._

 

_Anyways, our 10-year Hogwarts reunion is coming up at the end of May this year, and we think it would be the perfect time to show the “new Harry” off, like at the end of one of your episodes. (We don't think he would like being filmed for television, though… celebrity and all that.)_

 

_Please consider his case and write back to us. (Hermione has attached her Ministry address, fastest way to reach us.)_

 

_Thanks for your time and for the good you do. Big fans of the show. Cheers!_

 

_-Ron Weasley_

_-Ginny Weasley_

_-Hermione Granger-Weasley_

  


Karamo sat back at his desk, amazed at the heartfelt and heavy letter in his hand. There was so much information to sort through… but he knew what he had to do first.

 

He grabbed a piece of stationary and began to compose a reply.

 

 

_Dear Mr. Weasley, Ms. Weasley, & Mrs. Granger-Weasley... _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo hoo! New chapter when I should be sleeping! Best time to post, imho.
> 
> Love it? Like it? Hate it? Let me know! (But please be nice)
> 
> Got an idea for a scene with the Fab 5? Drop me a comment or hit me up on tumblr! (Find me at TracerIsAKingsman)
> 
> Ta for now babes. Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
